Sometimes a t-shirt says it all

Being part of an email network has as its bonuses. I do find myself sifting through lame jokes and endless repeated chain mail rubbish but every so often I get something that I really identify with and makes me laugh. The first is my absolute favourite. (Sorry Haley Joel!) I am definitely going to get a T-shirt printed and wear it whenever I move house and some daft neighbour comes up to me and asks, "Are you moving?" No you idiot, every now and then I just like to pack all my stuff into boxes to see how many I can fill!"

Toyota vs Porsche

I had one of the most exhilarating experience last week. I was stopped at a traffic light in my sensibly rebellious dirty white Toyota when a sexy silver grey Porsche pulled up next to me. Like most red blooded males, I looked across in admiration and took in the sleek lines, the low profile and the gleam off the chrome mags. I listened as the engine purred like a hungry feline watching gazelles drinking at a watering hole. Shielding my eyes from the brilliance of this machine I peered at the drivers seat and smiled appreciatively as the gorgeous blond driver applied some lipstick in the review mirror. The caveman in me suddenly had to defend its territory. I slid down low in my seat and brought my elbow in from the window in order to maximise my aerodynamics. I carefully revved the engine as I pulled my sunglasses off of the top of my head and expertly placed them over my eyes. I slowly glanced across at this vixen who had the audacity to challenge my manliness. Keeping my sun shielded eyes on this temptress I put my car into first gear and then with a determined turn of the head fixed my eye on the traffic light. The light suddenly flicked to green, I dropped the clutch and layed down half a months salary worth of rubber on the road leaving the Porsche to cough and splutter embarrassingly in my smoke. My heart was racing as the adrenaline coursed through my body in victorious defiance. I must be humble though and admit that it was not a fair fight! If only the driver of the Porsche knew we we racing!!!!!